[ excerpt from original Respuesta ]

... En todo lo dicho, venerable señora, no quiero (ni tal desatino cupiera en mí) decir que me han perseguido por saber, sino sólo porque he tenido amor a la sabiduría y a las letras, no porque haya conseguido ni uno ni otro.

Hallábase el Príncipe de los Apóstoles, en un tiempo, tan distante de la sabiduría como pondera aquel enfático: Petrus vero sequebatur eum a longe; tan lejos de los aplausos de docto quien tenía el título de indiscreto: Nesciens quid diceret; y aun examinado del conocimiento de la sabiduría dijo él mismo que no había alcanzado la menor noticia: Mulier, nescio quid dicis. Mulier, non novi illum. Y ¿qué le sucede? Que teniendo estos créditos de ignorante, no tuvo la fortuna, sí las aflicciones, de sabio. ¿Por qué? No se dio otra causal sino: Et hic cum illo erat. Era afecto a la sabiduría, llevábale el corazón, andábase tras ella, preciábase de seguidor y amoroso de la sabiduría; y aunque era tan a longe que no le comprendía ni alcanzaba, bastó para incurrir sus tormentos. Ni faltó soldado de fuera que no le afligiese, ni mujer doméstica que no le aquejase. Yo confieso que me hallo muy distante de los términos de la sabiduría y que la he deseado seguir, aunque a longe. Pero todo ha sido acercame más al fuego de la persecución, al crisol del tormento; y ha sido con tal extremo que han llegado a solicitar que se me prohiba el estudio.

Una vez lo consiguieron con una prelada muy santa y muy cándida que creyó que el estudio era cosa de Inquisición y me mandó que no estudiase. Yo la obedecí (unos tres meses que duró el poder ella mandar) en cuanto a no tomar libro, que en cuanto a no estudiar absolutamente, cemo no cae debajo de mi potestad, no lo pude hacer, porque aunque no estudiaba en los libros, estudiaba en todas las cosas que Dios crió, sirviéndome ellas de letras, y de libro toda esta máquina universal. Nada veía sin refleja; nada oía sin consideración, aun en las cosas más menudas y materiales; porque como no hay criatura, por baja que sea, en que no se conozca el me fecit Deus, no hay alguna que no pasme el entendimiento, si se considera como se debe. Así yo, vuelvo a decir, las miraba y admiraba todas; de tal manera que de las mismas personas con quienes hablaba, y de lo que me decían, me estaban resaltando mil consideraciones: ¿De dónde emanaría aquella variedad de genios e ingenios, siendo todos de una especie? ¿Cuáles serían los temperamentos y ocultas cualidades que lo ocasionaban? Si veía una figura, estaba combinando la proporción de sus líneas y mediándola con el entendimiento y reduciéndola a otras diferentes. Paseábame algunas veces en el testero de un dormitorio nuestro (que es una pieza muy capaz) y estaba observando que siendo las líneas de sus dos lados paralelas y su techo a nivel, la vista fingía que sus líneas se inclinaban una a otra y que su techo estaba más bajo en lo distante que en lo próximo: de donde infería que las líneas visuales corren rectas, pero no paralelas, sino que van a formar una figura piramidal. Y discurría si sería ésta la razón que obligó a los antiguos a dudar si el mundo era esférico o no. Porque, aunque lo parece, podía ser engaño de la vista, demostrando concavidades donde pudiera no haberlas.

Este modo de reparos en todo me sucedía y sucede siempre, sin tener oyo arbitrio en ello, que antes me suelo enfadar porque me cansa la cabeza; y yo creía que a todos sucedía esto mismo y el hacer versos, hasta que la experiencia me ha mostrado lo contrario; y es de tal manera esta naturaleza o costumbre, que nada veo sin segunda consideración. Estaban en mi presencia dos niñas jugando con un trompo, y apenas yo vi el movimiento y la figura, cuando empecé, con esta mi locura, a considerar el fácil moto de la forma esférica, y cómo duraba el impulso ya impreso e independiente de su causa, pues distante la mano de la niña, que era la causa motiva, bailaba el trompillo; y no contenta con esto, hice traer harina y cernerla para que, en bailando el trompo encima, se conociese si eran círculos perfectos o no los que describía con su movimiento; y hallé que no eran sino unas líneas espirales que iban perdiendo lo circular cuanto se iba remitiendo el impulso. Jugaban otras a los alfileres (que es el más frívolo juego que usa la puerilidad); yo me llegaba a contemplar las figuras que formaban; y viendo que acaso se pusieron tres en triángulo, me ponía a enlazar uno en otro, acordándome de que aquélla era la figura que dicen tenía el misterioso anillo de Salomón, en que había unas lejanas luces y representaciones de la Santísima Trinidad, en virtud de lo cual obraba tantos prodigios y maravillas; y la misma que dicen tuvo el arpa de David, y que por eso sanaba Saúl a su sonido; y casi la misma conservan las arpas en nuestros tiempos.

Pues ¿qué os pudiera contar, Señora, de los secretos naturales que he descubierto estando guisando? Veo que un huevo se une y fríe en la manteca o aceite y, por contrario, se despedaza en el almíbar; ver que para que el azúcar se conserve fluida basta echarle una muy minima parte de agua en que haya estado membrillo u otra fruta agria; ver que la yema y clara de un mismo huevo son tan contrarias, que en los unos, que sirven para el azúcar, sirve cada una de por sí y juntos no. Por no cansaros con tales frialdades, que sólo refiero por daros entera noticia de mi natural y creo que os causará risa; pero, señora, ¿qué podemos saber las mujeres sino filosofías de cocina? Bien dijo Lupercio Leonardo, que bien se puede filosofar y aderezar la cena. Y yo suelo decir viendo estas cosillas: Si Aristóteles hubiera guisado, mucho más hubiera escrito. Y prosiguiendo en mi modo de cogitaciones, digo que esto es tan continuo en mí, que no necesito de libros; y en una ocasión que, por un grave accidente de estómago, me prohibieron los médicos el estudio, pasé así algunos días, y luego les propuse que era menos dañoso el concedérmelos, porque eran tan fuertes y vehementes mis cogitaciones, que consumían más espíritus en un cuarto de hora que el estudio de los libros en cuatro días; y así se redujeron a concederme que leyese; y más, Señora mía, que ni aun el sueño se libró de este continuo movimiento de mi imaginativa; antes suele obrar en él más libre y desembarazada, confiriendo con mayor claridad y sosiego las especies que ha conservado del día, arguyendo, haciendo versos, de que os pudiera hacer un catálogo muy grande, y de algunas razones y delgadezas que he alcanzado dormida mejor que despierta, y las dejo por no cansaros, pues basta lo dicho para que vuestra discreción y trascendencia penetre y se entere perfectamente en todo mi natural y del principio, medios y estado demis estudios.

Si éstos, Señora, fueran méritos (como los veo por tales celebrar en los hombres), no lo hubieran sido en mí, porque obro necesariamente. Si son culpa, por la misma razón creo que no la he tenido; mas, con todo, vivo siempre tan desconfiada de mí, que ni en esto ni en otra cosa me fío de mi juicio; y así remito la decisión a ese soberano talento, sometiéndome luego a lo que sentenciare, sin contradición ni repugnancia, pues esto no ha sido más de una simple narración de mi inclinación a las letras....

[ Peden’s English translation ]

... In all the above, most honored lady, I do not wish to say (nor is such folly to be found in me) that I have been persecuted for my wisdom, but merely for my love of wisdom and letters, having achieved neither one nor the other.

At one time even the Prince of the Apostles was very far from wisdom, as is emphasized in that But Peter followed afar off. Very distant from the laurels of a learned man is one so little in his judgment that he was Not knowing what he said. And being questioned on his mastery of wisdom, he himself was witness that he had not achieved the first measure: But he denied him, saying: Woman, I know him not. And what becomes of him? We find that having this reputation of ignorance, he did not enjoy its good fortune, but, rather, the affliction of being taken for wise. And why? There was no other motive but: This man also was with him. He was fond of wisdom, it filled His heart, He followed after it, He prided himself as a pursuer and lover of wisdom; and although He followed from so afar off that He neither understood nor achieved it, His love for it was sufficient that He incur its torments. And there was present that soldier to cause Him distress, and a certain maid-servant to cause Him grief. I confess that I find myself very distant from the goals of wisdom, for all that I have desired to follow it, even from afar off. But in this I have been brought closer to the fire of persecution, to the crucible of torment, and to such lengths that they have asked that study be forbidden to me.

At one time this was achieved through the offices of a very saintly and ingenuous Abbess who believed that study was a thing of the Inquisition, who commanded me not to study. I obeyed her (the three some months her power to command endured) in that I did not take up a book; but that I study not at all is not within my power to achieve, and this I could not obey, for though I did not study in books, I studied all the things that God had wrought, reading in them, as in writing and in books, all the workings of the universe. I looked on nothing without reflexion; I heard nothing without meditation, even in the most minute and imperfect things; because as there is no creature, however lowly, in which one cannot recognize that God made me, there is none that does not astound reason, if properly meditated on. Thus, I reiterate, I saw and admired all things; so that even the very persons with whom I spoke, and the things they said, were cause for a thousand meditations. Whence the variety of genius and wit, being all of a single species? Which the temperaments and hidden qualities that occasioned such variety? If I saw a figure, I was forever combining the proportion of its lines and measuring it with my reason and reducing it to new proportions. Occasionally as I walked along the far wall of one of our dormitories (which is a most capacious room) I observed that though the lines of the two sides were parallel and the ceiling perfectly level, in my sight they were distorted, the lines seeming to incline toward one another, the ceiling seeming lower in the distance than in proximity: from which I inferred that visual lines run straight but not parallel, forming a pyramidal figure. I pondered whether this might not be the reason that caused the ancients to question whether the world were spherical. Because, although it so seems, this could be a deception of vision, suggesting concavities where possibly none existed.

This manner of reflection has always been my habit, and is quite beyond my will to control; on the contrary, I am wont to become vexed that my intellect makes me weary; and I believed that it was so with everyone, as well as making verses, until experience taught me otherwise; and it is so strong in me, this nature, or custom, that I look at nothing without giving it further examination. Once in my presence two young girls were spinning a top and scarcely had I seen the motion and the figure described, when I began, out of this madness of mine, to meditate on the effortless motus of the spherical form, and how the impulse persisted even when free and independent of its cause — for the top continued to dance even at some distance from the child’s hand, which was the causal force. And not content with this, I had flour brought and sprinkled about, so that as the top danced one might learn whether these were perfect circles it described with its movement; and I found that they were not, but, rather, spiral lines that lost their circularity as the impetus declined. Other girls sat playing at spillikins (surely the most frivolous game that children play); I walked closer to observe the figures they formed, and seeing that by chance three lay in a triangle, I set to joining one with another, recalling that this was said to be the form of the mysterious ring of Solomon, in which he was able to see the distant splendor and images of the Holy Trinity, by virtue of which the ring worked such prodigies and marvels. And the same shape was said to form David’s harp, and that is why Saul was refreshed at its sound; and harps today largely conserve that shape.

And what shall I tell you, lady, of the natural secrets I have discovered while cooking? I see that an egg holds together and fries in butter or in oil, but, on the contrary, in syrup shrivels into shreds; observe that to keep sugar in a liquid state one need only add a drop or two of water in which a quince or other bitter fruit has been soaked; observe that the yoke and the white of one egg are so dissimilar that each with sugar produces a result not obtainable with both together. I do not wish to weary you with such inconsequential matters, and make mention of them only to give you full notice of my nature, for I believe they will be occasion for laughter. But, lady, as women, what wisdom may be ours if not the philosophies of the kitchen? Lupercio Leonardo spoke well when he said: how well one may philosophize when preparing dinner. And I often say, when observing these trivial details: had Aristotle prepared victuals, he would have written more. And pursuing the manner of my cogitations, I tell you that this process is so continuous in me that I have no need for books. And on one occasion, when because of a grave upset of the stomach the physicians forbade me to study, I passed thus some days, but then I proposed that it would be less harmful if they allowed me books, because so vigorous and vehement were my cogitations that my spirit was consumed more greatly in a quarter of an hour than in four days’ studying books. And thus they were persuaded to allow me to read. And moreover, lady, not even have my dreams been excluded from this ceaseless agitation of my imagination; indeed, in dreams it is wont to work more freely and less encumbered, collating with greater clarity and calm the gleanings of the day, arguing and making verses, of which I could offer you an extended catalogue, as well as of some arguments and inventions that I have better achieved sleeping than awake. I relinquish this subject in order not to tire you, for the above is sufficient to allow your discretion and acuity to penetrate perfectly and perceive my nature, as well as the beginnings, the methods, and the present state of my studies.

Even, lady, were these merits (and I see them celebrated as such in men), they would not have been so in me, for I cannot but study. If they are fault, then, for the same reasons, I believe I have none. Nevertheless, I live always with so little confidence in myself that neither in my study, nor in any other thing, do I trust my judgment; and thus I remit the decision to your sovereign genius, submitting myself to whatever sentence you may bestow, without controversy, without reluctance, for I have wished here only to present you with a simple narration of my inclination toward letters....

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